My personal loaves and fishes

A labor of love that requires patience and perseverance

I grew up in a tough New York neighborhood in a single-parent home. I hardly remember my alcoholic father. My mother worked hard and bravely fought her own alcohol and psychological demons. This affected many decisions in my life. By the time I was in college I decided I wanted to reach out, to challenge others as a teacher.

I began teaching in an elite prep school and made the professional errors that a novice teacher can make. The principal told me one day, “I don’t think teaching is meant for you. You should consider a different profession.” I was discouraged, but decided to try one more year and to challenge myself.

I became a teacher in New York City.
I requested assignment to a school in a very difficult area, with students who came from the same type of neighborhood, the same type of family as mine. Along with English as the subject matter, I offered them a belief in themselves and a sharing of details from my own life.

My mantra to them was, “Never say, I can’t; say, I’ll try.” One day at a school party some students asked me to dance. Without thinking I replied, “I can’t.” You can imagine the answer I got.

Teaching was always important, but it was just as important to know my students beyond the surface — what was behind their anger, their indifference, their lack of belief in themselves. Some of my students became teachers and nurses, and one year I was voted Teacher of the Year.

My final assignment was teaching teenage inmates at Rikers Island, a correctional facility in New York City. My approach was the same. I shared myself and respected them as individuals. I challenged them to go beyond their mistakes.

One day a new arrival physically threatened me. The others quickly warned him that, if necessary, they would take immediate action to “neutralize” him. When my retirement was announced at a school assembly at Rikers Island, I received a standing ovation from 125 inmates. Afterwards the one who had been my most difficult challenge asked me not to leave, saying, “I need you.”

For over 30 years I offered the little that I had to offer — my personal loaves and fishes — to feed a total of 9,000 students. Hopefully, with what they learned there were many baskets left over from which they shared in return.
-written by Bill Phillips, with Maria Villar

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