Fear is our worst enemy

Establishing relationships of trust

By Maria Villar

No matter how many times I tell myself “trust is essential,” I tend to distrust my college students. Whenever an exam is coming or a deadline is approaching, I fear the arrival of an e-mail or phone call that tells me: “Professor, I must attend the funeral of my uncle,” or “I have a flu virus that prevents me from going to school.”

Last semester I decided to make an effort to change my attitude. On the first day of classes, I informed the class that we would spend some time formulating class policies, including norms for attendance, and exam make-ups. I dreaded potential outcomes but went ahead with the plan. After one hour of small-group discussions, it became clear that we all shared similar concerns and values. Most students felt as strongly as I did about accountability; all expected minimal standards and demanded only “legitimate” excuses should be given. Big relief!

The semester progressed more swiftly than I could have ever imagined. Very few students were absent, the majority submitted timely assignments, and I received nearly zero excuses for missing exams. By the end of the term, I could not contain my happiness and started sharing with colleagues “my” success story and reassuring them about the importance of trust. Then the week of finals arrived.

Oscar came to see me in the office a few days before the final. “Professor,” he told me, “I have two exams scheduled at the same time. The other exam is in my major. Could I take your exam later?” I did not believe his argument because the administration prepares the schedules of final exams. Oscar was doing well in class, but I could not forget that he had once [naively] stated he had never read a full book before my class. When he told me of the scheduling conflict, I started to say, “Impossible!” but the ‘little voice’ stopped me. Instead of refusing, I inquired further about his coursework and proposed that he take the exam two days later.

Soon after I settled the matter of trusting Oscar, Jennifer sent me an e-mail that sounded a bit unusual. “Professor,” she wrote, “How important is it for you that I take the exam tomorrow? I am not feeling well and don’t know if I will be able to prepare for it.” I could not believe the message, “How important is it for ME that you take a final exam??!” This time the ‘little voice’ spoke to me much louder, “Weren’t you the one claiming success and telling colleagues to trust students?” I had to trust Jennifer. After expressing concern for her health and explaining the importance of taking exams with the rest of class, I assured her that she could take a make-up if she could not prepare on time.

The day of finals was probably the happiest day of the semester! Oscar was in the front row smiling, “The other exam was not today! My other professor mixed up the date.” Next to the window was Jennifer. “I am feeling much better, professor. I had some medicine and was able to study and sleep well.” I thanked God and the “little voice” for that day and promised Him that I would continue doing my best to trust students.

Maria Villar is professor of anthropology at William Paterson University in New Jersey and member of Education for Unity (EdU), the Focolare’s worldwide education community.

Read related articles in Living City at: Articles by topic

Send your education experiences to livingcity.ed@livingcitymagazine.com

Share on Facebook. Click here!